In the past, I had a great relationship with somebody. Then a group of people told me they had problems with that person. I heard all of these stories about this person and the things they did to others. So I began to believe that this person had problems. I then had a talk with the person and said all of the things these people said and told this person that they had problems. And I talked to others about all of the problems this person had.

It was a few years later that I came to realize what had happened. I allowed my great relationship to be poisoned by other people. And if I allowed that, all of my relationships would become poisoned because everybody has a bad relationship somewhere. Those are their issues with them and have absolutely nothing to do with me. If somebody wants to gossip about somebody else to me, I will usually tell them that I don’t want to hear it, and “why don’t you talk to them about this?”

I have people constantly bombarding me with negative gossip about somebody else. I get it on the TV, at the supermarket checkout, and with family and friends. And others talk about me, I’ve heard that 3 times in the last week. Let them talk. Boy I must be important! Well, I know I am important and I count. What others say about me has ZERO to do with me, it’s about them. I do not base my self-worth on what others say about me. I know who I am, and I am learning more everyday about myself.

I’ve seen first hand how a person, close to me, poisoned the relationship with another person. Now everything this person sees the other do is wrong, or mean. They are jaded because they believe the poisoner. They have taken a side and drawn an invisible line in the sand. And their punishment is passive and practically invisible to the naked eye.

When somebody dislikes somebody, and then talks about all of the horrible things they’ve done to them or others, they create minions who carry on their work. It’s kinda like Mary Kay. Somebody signs you up to be a rep, then you peddle your product and try to sign up others to peddle it for you. And if you are good, others do all of the work for you. You make a call, and 5 others do your bidding with just a few simple words. Pyramid schemes seem very fruitful in the beginning, but always fail in the end.

Now, I’ve been a minion, I’ve been poisoned, and I’ve been the poisoner. I’ve played all of the roles and never knew it. Now I know, and I’ve apologized to the person first mentioned which was huge for me. And now I have the difficult task of realizing how my relationships are with everybody truly are. Are my issues with someone, somebody elses, or are they genuinely mine?