If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. — Richard Bach, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Most people think they are real, genuine and honest with others, and themselves. I used to until I went through a process which showed me I wasn’t. At birth, we are perfect at self-expression. Then we are taught how to act as we develop, and we lose the ability to express our emotions because society teaches us to hide certain ones.

As I was growing up I heard:

• Don’t cry
• Stop goofing around
• Suck it up
• We don’t talk about that here
• You are wrong
• That’s none of your business
• Don’t talk about that again
• Don’t question me
• And the list goes on and on

All of this stuck in my mind and created a complex set of filters which processed what I did and how I felt. So as a child I saw life through a set of clear glasses, and down the road they changed colors and became darker. But now they are clearing up again as I work on myself. So with all of the work I have done, I know that I am not completely honest and genuine with myself and others. But I have definately improved.

And it seems that I can only be honest and genuine with others who are the same way because I offend those who are stuck in their habitual ruts. I’ve tried explaining this to family and friends and telling them that they are not honest with themselves for starters, and that didn’t work. They believe they are totally honest and real with everything they do. This righteousness is difficult to deal with. So I have to hold back my true feelings to these people because they cannot handle it. But I talk this out with those around me that totally support me and are truthful with me and themselves and I am cleansed.