Marriages these days are a 50/50 bet. And odds are you know somebody who has gone through a divorce. And so often people pick a side, deciding which person was the reason for the divorce. But have you ever really had a heart to heart talk with both people individually, about the reason for their divorce or breakup?

I used to pick sides. But after some study, I found out that both sides had valid reasons for the breakup. I thought that it was strange. But I later realized that it takes two people to have a wonderful marriage, and it takes two people to get a divorce. And my picking sides was passing judgement. And who am I to judge? It reminds me of that saying from bible school:

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I’m not really a religious person, I’d say I am more spiritual. But this saying has some real meaning to it. I’m not a perfect person by any means, so what right do I have to lay judgement on somebody? Was I there every second of the relationship? Do I know both parties pasts from the day that they were born? Here is another saying from Buddha:

Whatever you do, you do to yourself. To judge others only compounds your own faults.

So maybe me passing judgement on somebody doesn’t serve me. Maybe what they did wasn’t right or wrong, maybe it’s just what is. When I pick sides, a war seems to begin. I’m standing on the just side, while the opposing side stands against me, feeling they are just in their cause. This is frustrating, mean things are said, it’s really upsetting. But when I am neutral, like Switzerland, there is balance and I feel love for both parties. I’m not playing God and passing judgement on the so called wrong party.

Every person has their own unique perspective. Everything they have done up to this moment has shaped it. No two are alike. If you and I experience something together, we will both have slightly or completely different perspectives on what occured. And who is to say what happened. Our perspectives are our realities. And if you tell me that my reality is different than what my experience is, we may have a problem.