August
2006
The Art of Happiness
When I think about what is most important to me, my own happiness comes to mind. Sure, money, love, success, wealth, etc., seem important, but if you are unhappy what good is all of that stuff? I know a person whose main life focus was career and money accumulation. This was achieved, but at the expense of health and family. Recently I found a book while I was in Alaska called The Art of Happiness written by the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Culter M.D. It sounded like a great read and I am half way into it. According to the Dalai Lama, a more reliable method for inner contentment “is not to have what we want, but rather to want and appreciate what we have. ” Chew on that one for a minute…
When asked if the Dalai Lama ever gets lonely, he simply said no. That blew me away. I’ve never heard of a human that is not lonely at one time or another. He attributes this to the fact that he looks at all human beings from a more positive angle which immediately creates a feeling of affinity, a kind of connectedness. If you are connected to everybody, it would be hard to get lonely. He encourages compassion for everybody which is a main factor of happiness.
“And once you encourage the thought of compassion in your mind, once that thought becomes active, then your attitude towards others changes automatically. If you approach other with the thought of compassion, that will automatically reduce fear and allow an openness with other people. It creates a positive friendly atmosphere. With that attitude, you can approach a relationship in which you, yourself, initially create the possibility of receiving affection or a positive response from the other person. And with that attitude, even if the other person is unfriendly or doesn’t respond to you in a positive way, then at least you’ve approached the person with a feeling of openness that gives you a certain flexibility and the freedom to change your approach as needed. That kind of openness at least allows the possibility of having a meaningful conversation with them. But without the attitude of compassion, if you are feeling closed, irritated, or indifferent, then y you can even be approached by your best friend and you just feel uncomfortable. ”
Understand and appreciate the other person’s background. People do things for a reason. If you were them, believe it or not, you’d do the same thing. Once you understand a person’s background, you will feel more compassion towards them. People are all basically the same. We are born and we all die. We have a mind, physical structure and emotions. We want to be happy and we don’t want to suffer. If people are seen as being like us, we have something in common. Having something in common means we are not alone and maybe everybody can be your friend.
118 pages into this book and I feel different! I am looking at all people as my friend who has things in common with me, instead of a stranger. The word compassion flashes in my mind all day long now. And my conversations with people have more depth and feel real, not shallow like they used to.
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